Mastering Failure

"We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery." (Samuel Smiles)
Have you ever been at a place in life where you think the only success you have been is successful in being a failure? I have come to the conclusion that I must be what I have heard some people called, "visual learners", because they learn better through what they see.  I seem to learn better by doing, and unfortunately many time, I have done the wrong thing.  

You cannot pass through this life without failing in some area, whether it be in a bad financial decision, letting a friend down, not fulfilling a promise... the list could go on. The important thing is that we learn something and take it with us on our journey. Failure is a temporary detour, not a dead end.

Genesis 4:6 states, "Then the Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?  But if you do not what is right, sin is crouching at the door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." If Cain would have just did the right thing and fixed his mistake God would have honored his sacrifice.  But Cain was determined to do it his way.  We cannot continue to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result.  We must correct what we have done and do not make that mistake again.  If we do make it again, correct it again, until we have mastered it. 
The moment you realize you failed is very painful and becomes very personal. Blaming yourself in such situations brings to the surface the thoughts that you felt you were better than that. You verbally beat yourself up, or attack the other person, even if it is just in your mind, to help you feel less bad about yourself. These negative reactions prevents you from both learning from them, and moving beyond them. If you really were responsible for a failure, because of bad decision, or inconsiderate behavior, you can use it as an opportunity to determine just what in your behavior may seriously need to be worked on.

One of the greatest challenges for me is to forgive myself.  If you can't stop reeling after a failure or rejection, it may be the high opinion of ourself is being humbled.  As my daughter often says, "It's not all about you."  The reason pencils have erasers on one end is that all of us make mistakes. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it will no longer have as much control over how you see yourself. Our shame is self-inflicted. That power resides solely within yourself.

We must see failure for what it really is, a temporary setback, or detour. But delay is not defeat. It may mean the death of a dream, or the end of a relationship, but it does not mean there is no other choice, or another opportunity, even if we can't see it at the moment. In fact, failure can even be seen as a partial success, since it's "succeeded" in eliminating something that you thought was a good thing. It just wasn't.

"There are no failures-just experiences and your reactions to them." (Tom Krause)

Sticks and Stones - Words Do Hurt

I can hear the chant of a child as he tries to be so convincing to someone who had just spoken hurtful remarks about him, "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."  All the while, inside his heart, the pain from those words, still so fresh in his mind, hurts far more than if his offender had thrown bricks.

The fact is that words can hurt for longer and much worse than sticks and stones ever could.  The broken bones heal, but words can ruin a peron's life and the lives of others.

The power of our words is enormous, and they also show the condition of our heart.


My mother always said, "if you dont have anything to say, dont say anything at all"


You would think being a grandmother myself, I would know this and apply it every day. But sometimes I fail and I have to be reminded. So, I did some reading and made some notes to remind me.


OUR WORDS ARE POWERFUL

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21) Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles. (Proverbs 21:23) 

Ephesians 4:15, 25, 29 15) but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ. 25) Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. 29) Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification,  that it may impart grace to the hearers.

OUR WORDS ARE A MIRROR OF OUR HEARTS

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.(Luke 6:45)

OUR WORDS CAN HEAL

Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the mind and healing to the body.  (Proverbs 16:24)

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

If you have been hurt by words, I pray for you today.  I pray for healing of your mind, for your broken spirit, and for the pain that is in your heart. I pray for peace and a renewed confidence. Though you are weary and exhausted, I ask for strength and courage.  Most of all, I pray that God upon high will bring restoration to the relationship that has been severed by thoughtless, spiteful words.  May the peace that passes all understanding, be with you today and always.