Forgive yourself

The Master was always teaching that guilt is an evil emotion to be avoided like the very devil -- all guilt.
"But are we not to hate our sins?" a disciple said one day.
"When you are guilty, it is not your sins you hate but yourself." - Anthony De Mello

When a trust has been broken, people on both sides have decisions to make about how to respond to the hurt they have suffered—or the pain they themselves have inflicted upon others.

What if there is no way to right the wrong? How do we fill the need to feel forgiven of our past sins or our most evil failures? Every time we look back and still feel guilty or wonder if it's been forgiven due to how great we feel you failed, we are saying that our failure is greater than what Jesus did for us.

What Satan tries to get us to do is to see our sin and failures as greater than the Blood of Jesus and consider it powerless against our sin.  It becomes a stronghold against us.


Accept forgiveness for youself. 

Learn from your mistakes.

The more you learn about yourself, the less likely you are to make the same mistake again.

Leaving the City of Regret

LEAVING THE CITY OF REGRET
by Larry Harp

I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip."

I got tickets to fly there on Wish I Had airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what might have been. No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.

As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party. I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.
First, there would be the Done family, you know, Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share.

Then Shattered Dreams would surely make and appearance. And It's Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It.

Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity party" could be cancelled by ME!

I started to truly realize that I did not have to be there. I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN'T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the City of Regret immediately and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them.

So, if you're planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a place called, Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myselfs and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. God bless you in finding this great town. If you can find it -- it's in your own heart -- please look me up. I live on I Can Do It street.

Our Daily Bread

Worry is the pre-occupation that I may not get what I want or I may lose what I have. 

What we are saying is that this thing is so important to me that instead of accepting what God has allowed, that He is my source, that he controls everything, and that if it does or does not happen, it is going to be okay; instead of accepting those realities….we worry.

Those are the times in life when we allow something other than God to be our center.

I have been reading a book by Dale Carnegie, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living".

Of course you know if I am reading that book, then I must have a problem with worrying. I would say I am an honor graduate in that area. I am married to a logger where the weather affects everything. It could be dry in the woods but that means the mills get filled and you get shut out. If you get a lot of rain, the mills are offering great prices for the wood but it is too wet to haul them. I have just started out in my mediation business and have had only one mediation at my office in 3 months. I got a call from my ob-gyn office that my pap came back abnormal and I need to go in for another test.

So, I needed this book!

One of the first things he reminds us of is the Lord's Prayer. "Give us this day our daily bread." The prayer tells us to only ask for today's bread. It does not say complain about yesterday or tell us to be concerned about tomorrow's bread.

Three steps he suggested to apply to stop worrying are:

1.      Analyze the situation fearlessly and honestly and figure out what the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

2.      After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, reconcile myself to accepting it.

3.      From that time on, calmly devote my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally.

This is the day which the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

A New Chapter

I heard an awesome message by our assistant pastor last night. "The Good News is.. The Bad News was Wrong. "

Click here to watch:

http://splendorafpc.com/?page_id=17


In the message he made the statement that when we have done something wrong it is just a bad chapter in our lives.

It is not the end. It is just one chapter. A chapter of a lesson learned. When that chapter ends a new one begins.

Failure is when you give up.... All you have to do to win, is to get back up.

Easter 2012- It is Finished

In an Easter service 2012, was the end of something that Satan could have used to destroy us but I believe became the beginning of something great.

It began with the Youth Sign Team performing "The Presence of The Lord"

Since God is present everywhere, when we talk about the presence of God we are really talking becoming conscious of His presence.

The manifest presence of God brings power, changes lives and reveals the glory of God. And that is exactly what happened this Easter! God came in when He was least expected and most needed!!




I had been given a revelation over a year ago about being Undercover, under the protection of God. However, I let my guard down. I liken it to this:

We had some remodeling done on the front of our church building. However, some sparrows came in and made a nest in the crevices that were open. They slowly began to chip away at the stucco. Every morning there would be little chips of stucco on the ground below. Finally, our pastor had to add more material to prevent the birds from destroying what was built up for the good of the church. It was not the sparrows fault. They were just being birds. We just had to stop them from doing any more damage.

I had allowed something to come into my life and tear down and almost destroy the very thing that was making me better. I was becoming negative in my thoughts and my speaking. It did not stop until it was revealed. Then my embarrassement, guilt, and shame almost destroyed me. I was consumed with condemnation. I did not want to go outside my house. I did not want to hurt anyone else. I was afraid of me. I cried, prayed and repented, but could not find peace. I was afraid that this must be God's punishment for neglecting the gift he had given me.

God siezes moments like this. When we get down to the very bottom and there is no where to go. He wants us to know is it him doing the work to repair the damage, not us. He loves to come when He is least expected and yet most needed.
In that service, where the presence of God was so strong, the person that I had offended and hurt came and took my hand and danced with me. There are not words to described what happened to me in that moment. But, I know this, I do not ever want to forget it. Many other lives were touched that night. Our youth pastor admonished his youth to go home and write down what had happened to them so they will not forget and it would not be taken from them. I want to do the same thing.

When you have been in the presence of the Lord, you are cleansed from all sin and guilt, empowered with faith, and walk in renewed confidence.

Whether it be fighting a giant, being thrown in a lion's den, or suffering from a personal failure, though Satan meant it for evil....if we will allow Him, God will turn it for good!

The Presence of the Lord

God loves to come when He is least expected and yet most needed!

My hands still tremble from the service we were in last night.

Watch this clip from our Youth Sign Team performing The Presence of the Lord Is Here to see where it all started.....

Since God is present everywhere, when we talk about the presence of God we are really talking becoming conscious of His presence.

The manifest presence of God brings power, changes lives and reveals the glory of God. And that is exactly what happened this Easter! God came in when He was least expected and most needed!!

A Walk to Remember

A friend called me and told me that I just "had to go" to this display at the Second Baptist Church.  We are both Pentecostal but she had gone with a friend who attends there and said it was amazing.  I was not far from there.  I was alone and so I decided to go.  I am so glad that I did. 

It was called the Passion Week Experience or Stations of the Cross. 

Click here to watch a clip about it from their website:
http://bcove.me/h23yyigf

The experience was unforgettable. At the self-guided tour, there were eight areas displaying items associated with the events surrounding the betrayal and crucifixion of Jesus. You are asked to walk up and observe each item. If you wish, you may touch, pick up or even smell any of the items.  Everyone was so polite and provided me with a printed guide which described each display to help you reflect on each element’s relevance to the story of Good Friday and how its truth can make an impact on your life today.

There was such a reverance, a peace that I felt the moment I walked in. I first came to the water basins where the priest had to wash their hands before entering.  I was hesitant at first about participating because I was only a visitor to this church, but the people at each display were so kind and inviting.  I put my hands out and the lady at the basin poured cool water over my hands.  The moment the water touched my hands,  I burst out in tears that I did not even realize were at the surface.  I had been struggling with some issues in my life that week and it was like a dam broke inside me and the tears just began to overflow onto my face. It felt like every sin had been washed off of my hands as the water poured over my hands and down into the basin below. I felt like a heavy load had been lifted off of me.  It was incredible. 

From there on I could not stop crying as I walked to each display. I tasted the last supper, sat in the Garden of Gethsemane, smelled the spices, touched each of the thirty pieces of silver, felt the crown of thorns and spikes and imagined the pain. There was dramatic music playing in the background with the distant sound of a hammer hitting nail which you found out at the end was an opportunity to physically nail your burdens and sins to a large cross. By the time I reached the cross and make the long walk down the altar to where the cross was laid, my knees were trembling.  I wrote down the burdens I had been been carrying on a piece of paper they provided, picked up a hammer and nail and nailed them to the cross.  I felt bad for hitting the nail so hard, because I knew that is what they did to Jesus, unmercifully inflicting pain on his body.  But I knew that is what he came, to away take all our burdens, our sins, and our failures. By the time my paper was firmly nailed to the cross I could not contain my spirit and I began speaking in tongues as the spirit gave the utterance. Although I was not loud, there was a young man there at the display and I am certain he heard me.  But he did not seem offended. He smiled when I shook his hand thanked him for what they were doing. 

I walked away .... touched and very thankful for the experience.

Gossip - Feathers in the Wind

There is a 19th century folktale about a young fellow who went about town slandering the town’s wise man. One day, he went to the wise man’s home and asked for forgiveness. The wise man, realizing that this man had not internalized the gravity of his transgressions, told him that he would forgive him on one condition: that he go home, take a feather pillow from his house, cut it up, and scatter the feathers to the wind. After he had done so, he should then return to the wise man’s house.

Though puzzled by this strange request, the young man was happy to be let off with so easy a penance. He quickly cut up the pillow, scattered the feathers, and returned to the house.

“Am I now forgiven?” he asked.

“Just one more thing,” the wise man said. “Go now and gather up all the feathers.”

“But that’s impossible. The wind has already scattered them.”

“Precisely,” he answered. “And though you may truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the feathers. Your words are out there in the marketplace, spreading hate, even as we speak.”

I had heard of this parable years ago and I thought at the time what a good illustration.  But it never rang more true until I actually experienced it myself.  It was a very disappointing and shameful moment of self-discovery.

Gossip is like a fired bullet. Once you hear the sound, you can’t take it back.  And it is not just what we say about someone to others, but think about what that person is thinking about you when they hear you gossip. What does that say about your character to them?

The choice regarding how we speak about or to someone is ours. Choose your words wisely.  You can never take them back.

Jealousy - As Cruel As The Grave

"Son, jealousy is a cruel as the grave."  A friend of mine told me that he heard his father say that many times when he was growing up.  He did not realize his father was actually quoting a scripture in the Bible until later in life when he became a minister.  

For love is strong as death, jealousy is as cruel as the grave; coals thereof are coals of fire; which hath a most vehement flame. (Song of Solomen 8:6)

Like my friend's father, I experienced the cruel grip of jealousy in my own life:
 
I remember exactly where I was standing the day my pastor asked me if I would consider being a secretary for the church. It was such an honor to be asked......I also remember the day it ended.

I walked into the church office to put away the offering on a Sunday morning and someone else was sitting at my desk, unfolding the dollar bills from the offering plates. I still recall the sadness, anger and despair that consumed me, for it meant only one thing.... I had been replaced.

There were other changes being made that I was not aware of.  After years of service, I felt left out.

I could not get past the hurt. It consumed me until I became jealous and bitter.  

Being bitter is like drinking poison hoping the other person would die. All the while you are slowly killing yourself on the inside.


Jealousy can cause more damage to a relationship than any thing I have ever experienced.  I began spending less time in prayer and more time talking to others. That is when we get into trouble with God.

 Hurting people hurt people.

Have you ever seen a dog that has been hurt? Even the most gentle of dogs will growl and even try to bite it's owner if he tries to touch the injured area. I was injured so deeply that the slightest reference to it caused pain. Instead of allowing God to heal me, I developed such a rotten attitude that all of heaven could smell the stench. All the hurt, disappointment and bitterness that I had inside came surfacing to the top, like a pot boiling over on a stovetop. I found fault in everything at the church, poisonous venom spewing out of my mouth.

I realized how low I had sunk when I blabbed to my new friend a piece of gossip I had heard about someone else. I knew in my spirit that I was somehow crossing a line.  But I was driven by the jealousy and bitterness that had taken hold of me.

Jealousy is the fear of losing something that you believe to be already be yours.

Jealousy and envy will make your life hell on Earth. Jealousy hurts people around us, especially those we say we love the most. During this time, I was unkind to some of the sweetest, kindest people I know, just because I was jealous of them. I thought they were getting something I deserved.  The Devil is "the ACCUSER of the BRETHREN" (Revelation 12:10), and when you're in a jealous spirit, the Devil whispers his lies against others in your ears and plays upon your selfishness and fears.



It isn't easy to slay a monster. 

I had to pray desperately and to ask the Lord to deliver me from this negative, fearful spirit. I finally had to confess it to two of my closest friends and asked them to help me pray about it and to rebuke me when any signs started showing in my attitude.  Then I was able to ask one of the individuals I had so badly offended to forgive me. In doing so, an even stronger relationship was formed.

Speaking about it helped me own up to it, address it and caused me to be more able to identify it when it tried to come back. "Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another. RESIST the Devil (resist his thoughts) and he will FLEE from you!"--James 5:16; 4:7.

The time to attack this monster is when it first rears its ugly head. Now, when I see the first sign of jealousy rising up, I will not give in to it.  I will force my thoughts to think about something else, not dwell on the thing that is causing the jealousy and pray for God to replace that void in my heart that the enemy is trying to fill will His love.

Genuine love, mercy, forgiveness, openness and understanding have salvaged many a relationship that would have otherwise been destroyed by jealousy and pride.

Jealousy really boils down to selfishness, pride and possessiveness.

 When jealousy is removed, your life will become full of peace instead of pieces.  Where God's love dwells, there is no room for jealousy.

There are many times I come back and read this post.  Fighting jealousy is a constant battle.  But it is a war that I intend to win.

Caution: Human Beings at Work

We know we are not perfect.  So, why do we expect others to be?

You, therefore, must be perfect (growing into complete maturity of godliness in mind and character, having reached the proper height of virtue and integrity) as your father in heaven is perfect.  Matthew 5:48.

Perfection involves growing. Getting along with people, loving them, keeping peace and staying out of anger is something we have to continue to work at.

We make mistakes and we grow from them. 
John 2: 24  Jesus for his part, did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all men (human nature).

Do not entrust every detail in your life to everyone.  We don't know what causes people to act or react the way they do to some things.  We don't know what childhood pain or adult disappointment they have suffered.  We must be careful who we allow into our hearts and into our lives.

Overcoming our Addiction to Temptation

Hello, my name is Paula.  And I need to overcome an addiction - to temptation.

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew to do the right thing but you wind up doing the wrong thing?  Everything in your mind said, “no, no, no, don’t do it? But in your heart, you said, “why not?”

Temptation is defined as the desire to perform an action that one may enjoy immediately or in the short term but will probably later regret for various reasons.  – Wikipedia

Satan is a powerful drug dealer and master con-artist. The only way to put a drug dealer out of business is to stop buying what he is selling.  And he is only selling what we want.  If we did not want it, we would not be tempted to buy it.  He is presenting something to people that they want so badly that they are willing to sin to get. He will provide the perfect opportunity, the perfect setting, to appeal to your own desire.   A con-artist can only sell, deceive, or entice us only when we are needy or greedy.  We cannot be enticed if we are content.  The bible says Godliness with contentment is great gain.  (I Timothy 6:6).

Temptation is only a temptation because you like what is being offered. James 1:14 says every man is tempted,(lured into a trap) when he is drawn away (by the attraction ) of his own lust (desiring something in the wrong way), and enticed.

Satan became masterful because he has studied human beings since the garden of Eden.  He slithered around in the garden, found out what Eve’s weakness was, and at a moment when she was alone, he tempted her with a lie, that she would not die.  We will all someday die, but sometimes the death we experience when we succumb to temptation is not a natural death, but a death of a relationship, trust or our character.

How do you know you when you are being tempted?

When what you want or in what you thinking about doing, you are willing to compromise obedience to God and compromise love for others to have it.  Or it leads you to a position where other people will not see the very character of God in you, but they will see the opposite.

Anything that becomes more important than loving God or loving others, you are being tempted with those desires. That is the heart of temptation. When Satan draws you away, it is NEVER in a way that is pleasing to God.  It is always in a way to lead you to dishonor God and to dishonor people.

I have treated people poorly because I was not being given what I wanted or what I thought I  deserved.  We feel justified.  When we have these desires then we have not yet accepted God’s will for us.  The real enemy is not your spouse, your parents, your co-worker or the friend who hurt you.  Ephesians 6:12 tells us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

God will use others to unfold some of the worst things about ourselves.  We may think they are the ones with the problem, but they are not the ones causing the pain.  They are just revealing the character of our heart.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. – Proverbs 27:6.