There is a 19th century folktale about a young fellow who went about town slandering the town’s wise man. One day, he went to the wise man’s home and asked for forgiveness. The wise man, realizing that this man had not internalized the gravity of his transgressions, told him that he would forgive him on one condition: that he go home, take a feather pillow from his house, cut it up, and scatter the feathers to the wind. After he had done so, he should then return to the wise man’s house.
Though puzzled by this strange request, the young man was happy to be let off with so easy a penance. He quickly cut up the pillow, scattered the feathers, and returned to the house.
“Am I now forgiven?” he asked.
“Just one more thing,” the wise man said. “Go now and gather up all the feathers.”
“But that’s impossible. The wind has already scattered them.”
“Precisely,” he answered. “And though you may truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the feathers. Your words are out there in the marketplace, spreading hate, even as we speak.”
I had heard of this parable years ago and I thought at the time what a good illustration. But it never rang more true until I actually experienced it myself. It was a very disappointing and shameful moment of self-discovery.
Gossip is like a fired bullet. Once you hear the sound, you can’t take it back. And it is not just what we say about someone to others, but think about what that person is thinking about you when they hear you gossip. What does that say about your character to them?
The choice regarding how we speak about or to someone is ours. Choose your words wisely. You can never take them back.
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