Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Brokenness

Brokenness is when you no longer desire to be seen and noticed.



For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To some, who do not understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.” – Cynthia Occelli



Change is like that. It often feels like utter and complete destruction; however, in that devastation, new life can be formed. 

Sometimes the devastation uproots things that we needed to let go.
Something happens that, at first, seems terrible, and even, unjustified. Suddenly we are out of our comfort zone. Bruised and broken, we rail against the loss.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

I have been:

  • Discouraged by failures and setbacks...
  • Ashamed  for mistakes i've made...
  • Disappointed  for making the “wrong” choices...

I know what it’s like to live in regret and feel powerless and stuck because of it.

I have spent too much time dwelling on events from the past that seemed unfair and choices I made that caused me to feel ashamed.

I obsessed about what should have happened, what shouldn’t have happened, what I should have done, what I shouldn’t have done, and how everything would be better if I could just go back and change it all.

Many times we allow our feelings and beliefs about the past to limit our effectiveness and happiness in the present.

And even though we want to let go, we don’t know how. So instead, we keep telling ourselves the same old limiting stories—and in the process, live the story of now based on a sad one from before.

The good news is that we can change how we interpret yesterday, how we view ourselves in response, and how we live today as a result.



At times, I’ve feared doing well.  I would feel like a fraud because a part of me didn’t believe I deserved success.  Or maybe I would be overwhelmed by the responsibility success brings.

I spent too much time in my own head.Why am I doing this? Why can’t I just be me? Why am I so dumb?


Some researchers estimate that we think up to 80,000 thoughts per day. They often center on grievances, judgments, fears, and worries, and they can be obsessive. Worse, we tend to identify with our thoughts, as if each one is a fact, and a part of who we are.


BE YOUR OWN HERO

Most of us want to be heroes - to be valuable, to make a difference, to be admired, and respected. 

When we think of heroes, we often think of people like soldiers or firemen. Or we may think of everyday heroes like the man who threw himself onto the subway tracks to save a man who had fallen while having a seizure.

Heroism  required doing something instead of waiting and watching.

But there’s another type of hero that’s equally brave and powerful: heroes who choose to help themselves and overcome. 

Life is not the sum of my hurts and mistakes. So maybe instead of judging myself for where I've been and feeling down for where I was at that time, I could empower myself to create something different from that moment forward.


Those changes are the result of changing my inner monologue from, “Why did I make such bad choices?” to “What’s the best choice I can make now?”

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

A Letter to my Toddler Sunday School Class

Dear Toddler Class,
Your class will always be my favorite..... You were my first toddler class to teach in Sunday School. You are the kids who God used to reveal His guiding plan for my life.

Thank you for building my confidence in teaching God’s word.  By participating and showing excitement in each activity, you showed me the value of teaching toddlers about Jesus.  Because I knew, even if you didn’t realize it, you were learning and understanding about salvation and grace.

Thank you for always being willing to help, for the times you volunteered to be a Bible character for our lesson, and for each time you eagerly asked to be the line leader as we walked next door to the Country Store.
Thank you for putting your stickers on the attendance board as you came in each week and for commenting on the bulletin boards when they were changed for the new season.
Thank you for the blessing you always said before snack time and for the prayers you prayed for each other when they were sick.  

Thank you for the times you misbehaved and taught me that even in that we could all learn a lesson about being patient and growing.
Thank you for all the funny stories you shared.
Thank you for all of the spontaneous hugs on Sunday morning.
I will remember all of these things, but you probably won’t remember them, because you are growing and learning so many more wonderful things. And that makes me so proud of you. Always keep your enthusiasm for learning about the Bible. I pray that a seed was planted in you that will be watered and grow and you will become all that Jesus wants you to be.
And remember, you can always stop back by our classroom for some cheese balls or goldfish crackers … and a great big hug!!

Love, Ms. Paula 

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

My pastor's prayer



At one of our church prayer meetings, I heard my pastor praying and grabbed my notebook and pen and began to record his words: 

....... give blessings to your people.  We want your blessings that bring us close to you. Look down on your people. You see each one. You know them. Save our lost loved ones.  Deal with backsliders.  Help them to come back to you, to seek your will and your way.  You are able to deal with them.  Slip into their consciousness.  Turn them to righteousness.  Bring revelation into their lives and hearts.  We come to you with faith in our hearts, believing you are able.

We pray for our families oh God some way move into into their hearts and spirits.  Move upon them to be in the house of God.  Fill them with the power of the Holy Ghost.  Help them to come close to you, to draw nigh, to live right in this present generation.  Help my family to be faithful to you.  Move upon every family in the church.  Let the spirit of the Lord encourage them.  Help them get involved in proclaiming the gospel.  Let the power of God rest upon them.

Anoint the Sunday School teachers. Give them anointing and revelation to be able to teach your word to their classes.

Create in me a clean heart and a right spirit.  I need your love, mercy and direction.  You are worthy of all praise. Thank you for your blessings oh God ......

 

It was an inspiring prayer and I could  have continued to listen more , but I didn't want either of them to think I was intruding on this passionate conversation and I had my own needs I needed to talk to God about. But at that moment I just wanted to thank God for the Man of God He has placed in my life for over 30 years. I know he has prayed many prayers like this one for me and my family over the years.  And I will be eternally grateful.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Ethics Class - The Flat Tire

A university professor starts his ethics class with the following story:
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc., that each had an A so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time—however, after all the hard partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to the University of Virginia for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved.

They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: "For 95 points, which tire?"

Thursday, February 25, 2016

FLOW - by Nona Freeman

APRIL 8, 2015-from Nona Freeman's book 'In the Bag':-
FLOW
We camped in makeshift quarters in 1952 while we built our home in South Africa. During an invasion of non-poisonous spiders (the size of a small fist), we became so weary of getting up at night to identify "something that crawled across my arm" or "on my face" that we bought the older children a small flashlight so they could conduct some of the frequently needed 'spider' investigations.
When the brilliant light in my face nudged me out of sound sleep, I thought a spider-hunter needed help. I opened my eyes to see a Being clothed in exquisite light standing by my bed. I trembled, immobilized by fear. 'Do not be afraid", a soft yet vibrant voice answered my distress, "I am a messenger sent by God to give you the secret of revival."
Disturbed by our ineffectual outreach to the lost, my husband and I shared a time of prayer and fasting that ended early in November. He left the next day for the Eastern Transvaal to visit a new church; I took charge of the service in the current tent meeting in an area called Claremont. The heavenly visitor came the following morning at 3:00 AM and said, "I am here in response to your cry for a Pentecostal outpouring."
He unrolled a large parchment scroll before me containing the words of Jesus in John 7:38; "He that believeth on Me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water," The tremendous scripture before me did not prevent the intrusion of the carnal thought, "How many times we have used that text!" (we found it a significant introduction of the Gospel to first-time hearers.)
An unspoken chill of rebuke swept away my smug satisfaction, and my heart whispered, "Forgive my ignorance." The angel commanded sternly, "look at the scroll!" As I looked carefully, I saw one word become prominent....the word FLOW enlarged and appeared to be set with scintillating diamonds sparkling beautifully. "Last night, at the service at the tent, you sang of mercy drops and showers of blessings."
His voice gentled, "You preached about drawing water out of the wells of salvation with joy. You know, but you do not comprehend the limitless scope of the gift of God. Jesus wants to deluge you and the thirsty world with 'rivers' of His Holy Ghost Power. The will of God is not mercy drops or showers or even buckets full of blessings. It is torrential rivers of His Spirit constantly flowing through you.
You have depended on conducive arrangements, the 'right' atmosphere, your eloquence, your experiences and human understanding to mellow hearts and make them receptive to the gospel. You have worked long and hard to set the stage, bringing the service to the point that you consider 'ready' for the preaching of the Word - all in your own strength - and the results are extremely disappointing.
If you could only understand, it is not what you can do, but what He will do if you allow His Spirit to FLOW. Jesus is looking for empty vessels, empty canals, empty pipes, if you please, that He can pour Himself through without obstruction. That is HIS plan. The Spirit of God is not visible, but I will let you see it as a rainbow-colored light so you can comprehend its operation."
Suddenly, a church service appeared before me. The preacher spoke with great emphasis; one hand uplifted while the other one held the open Bible. I heard encouraging Amens! and Hallelujahs! from the congregation. The question came, "Do you feel the dead formality?" And I saw God's hand sweep the whole scene away. "It looked and sounded real", I thought, yet I felt something lacking.
Another service took its place. The preacher gave the same message with identical posture and gestures, but what a difference! A Victoria waterfall of dazzling light with the consistency of water, in the colors of the rainbow poured into him and flowed from his mouth and fingertips with each word and each motion. I saw the glorious phenomenon spread all over the church.
People either sat quietly or worshipped in graceful sincerity, while the uniquely lovely 'flow' swept through them to fill the church with the Glory of God. I noticed the welcome absence of a 'cheering squad' spirit. An arrogant man came in and sat by a smiling older couple. Without his awareness , the Spirit poured through the gracious saints and swirled around him, dissolving both his sneer and composure.
Soon, he pretended to cough for an excuse to reach for his handkerchief and surreptitiously wipe tears from his cheek. Forgetting his aversion to prayer, he leapt to his feet with a terrible cry, "I'm lost! My God have mercy on me!" He fell sobbing to the floor and stretched full-length in the aisle. The grey-haired pair knelt beside him and rejoiced as God took control of a newly surrendered heart.
The angel enabled me to see both inside the church and the surrounding area at the same time. I watched the amazing beauty of worship...no twisted faces, or wild body contortions. The ineffably lovely Spirit streamed through the worshippers and billowed over the whole neighborhood. I mused, "As this Holy influence spreads, hearts will be softened and lives changed without the blessed even knowing how it even came about."
I have long known that an evil presence can fill a house or town through a possessed person or people. Now I wondered why I had not realized that God's Spirit will work the same way through yielded lives. A woman wearing shabby house shoes and an apron tied over a shapeless dress, coming from the corner store, ambled down the sidewalk across the street from the church. She had a loaf of bread in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
The congregation sang a mellow, old song and the sweet sound flowed out in rainbow-hued clouds surrounding the woman. She stopped, and stood staring for a few moments, dropped both the bread and the cigarette and buried her face in her apron weeping, "I'm sinner...I need God!" Without consultation or an audible order, two women came from opposite sides of the church directed to a soul in need.
They embraced her as they prayed for her. Minutes later, they led her into the church while she glorified God, speaking in other tongues. As I witnessed how the Spirit changed lives, my soul cried a silent question, "What prevents the 'flow' of the Spirit in me?" The answer came gently. "A guise of spirituality and a mere profession of salvation are empty vanities without the 'flow' of the Spirit."
"I will name in everyday language the most common hindrances for you:-
UNBELIEF - FEAR
DISOBEDIENCE - REBELLION
JEALOUSY - BITTERNESS
HATRED - MALICE
STUBBORNNESS
LUST - COVETEOUSNESS
GREED - SELFISHNESS
ANXIETY - WORRY
JUDGING - CRITICISM
GRUMBLING - COMPLAINING
PRIDE – AMBITION –
THE DESIRE TO HAVE A NAME OF SPIRITUALITY
TEMPER - IMPATIENCE
These are the evils that block the moving of the Spirit through you. When the flow stops, you usually fall back on your own resources and 'make-do' instead of cleaning out the obstructions. Child, you must learn to repent often. Confess and overcome your besetting faults. Ask forgiveness frequently of others. Only the cleansing blood of Jesus can remove the barriers of your soul.
Whatever it takes, keep the Spirit flowing. Don't let obstacles pile up. A tiny seed of resentment can become a mighty force of evil if allowed to remain and grow. Understand that the Holy Spirit's healing flood will sweep away your insecurity, feeling of inadequacy, helplessness, fear of people, anxiety over change, uncertainty and any other unwholesome thought that springs up to make you unfruitful.
When the Spirit whispers the word 'flow', that's a signal that you must share what I have shown you. Wherever you go, encourage God's people to get the 'flow'. The value of receiving the Holy Ghost can be lost unless it is allowed to 'flow'. Get the FLOW! Get the FLOW!"
With the last vibrant "Get the FLOW!" my guest left. The light faded, though a translucent glow lingered for some time. I lay motionless until dawn, humbly thanking God for His incomparable mercy. My heart cry that night long ago is still with me. "I want the Flow!"

1 Corinthians 13 Christmas Version

1 Corinthians 13 - A Christmas Version
 
Sharon Jaynes
Celebrating a Christ Centered Christmas
used with permission of
Moody Publishers


 
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.
Merry Christmas and lots of love to you and yours!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Lesson - Turning Evil to Good



This morning I was on my way to HEB to get some grapes to take to work for an afternoon snack.  I pulled out onto the highway and I noticed a small red car coming at a very fast speed right behind me staying right on my bumper. I must have either pulled out in front of her unintentionally or was driving too slow for her. It was a short distance to the HEB shopping center parking lot so I  pulled onto the medium to let her pass.  Instead, she pulled up right beside me and gave me a hateful glare. 

She then pulled in front of me onto the medium, turned into the same shopping center, and stopped in front of the tanning salon.  'All of that just because she needed to tan', I thought.  She yelled something inaudible to me as I passed by. I was steaming by this time because I felt her actions were totally uncalled for and rude. To be honest, I wanted to yell back at her, "Don't you know those things cause cancer!" Instead, I went on in to HEB with the whole scenario replaying in my mind. 

Then I thought, I am not going to let the devil have this moment.  He is enjoying the anger and the frustration we both have put into this. Change your thoughts, change your life.  So I began thinking, she probably had a rough morning, was running late and wanted to get into the tanning bed before work or something. She is young and those things are important to her.  I was young once too.  The older shall teach the younger women, the Bible tells us.....  

So, I bought a greeting card, wrote a note apologizing for causing her day to start off so badly and that lunch is on me today.  I put $20 inside and sealed the envelope. When I got to the tanning salon her car was gone. The attendant at the tanning salon told me she comes in every morning, so I left the card with the words "Red Car" on the front and asked the attendant to give it to her when she comes back. 

Although I will never know her reaction when she reads my card, I hope that it makes her smile and her anger subsides. I hope that her day got better. And maybe one day down the road she will remember this day as a not so bad day and be able make someone else's day better too.  

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 I am not posting this to bring glory to myself.  I admitted my own malicious thoughts that wanted to come out of my mouth.  I am sharing this because we all have a tendency to react to situations based on our feelings at the moment, instead of considering what the other person may be going through. We all make mistakes. It may have cost me $20.00 but if touches that young lady in the way I hope that it does, it will be worth far more in eternity. 

 Genesis 50:20  "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to bring life to many people.