I remember exactly where I was standing the day my pastor asked me if I would consider being a secretary for the church. It was such an honor to be asked.
I also remember the day it ended. I walked into the church office to put away the offering on a Sunday morning and someone else was sitting at my desk, unfolding the dollar bills from the offering plates. I still recall the sadness, anger and despair that consumed me, for it meant only one thing.... I had been replaced.
There were other changes being made that I was not aware of. After years of service, I felt left out.
I could not get past the hurt. It consumed me until I became jealous and bitter.
Being bitter is like drinking poison hoping the other person would die. All the while you are slowly killing yourself on the inside.
Hurting people hurt people. Have you ever seen a dog that has been hurt? Even the most gentle of dogs will growl and even try to bite it's owner if he tries to touch the injured area.
I began spending less time in prayer and more time talking to others. That is when we get into trouble with God.
I developed such a rotten attitude that all of heaven could smell the stench. All the hurt, disappointment and bitterness that I had inside came surfacing to the top, like a pot boiling over on a stovetop. I found fault in everything at the church, poisonous venom spewing out of my mouth.
I realized how low I had sunk when I blabbed to my new friend a piece of gossip I had heard about someone else when I myself, had been forgiven of so much more.
I pray that others can heal from the wounds in their spirit caused by this wounded dog. I pray for time to heal, to grow and mature me into what I need to be for myself and others.
It is my prayer that through it all, some how, some day, there will be some good come out of this. I believe with all my heart, the God I serve is a restorer of souls and all that is lost, for anyone who will trust Him.
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